Thursday, September 15, 2005

a) fallen down a flight of steps and bruised my tail bone in the process *ouch*

b) found 2 new (and deep) scratches on my beloved thermos flask =(

c) lost my *relatively* new contacts while trying to ram it into my eyeball

d) opened a new set of contacts onli to find a manufacturing defect

e) had my car battery die on me

f) bought choc for dear onli to find it melted by the time i gave it to him >.<

g) gotten my wheel clamped (big sob... this is the suay-est of all... byebye $100)

haizzz... am i suay or what lah.. dear says that i should try to change my mentality and be less pessimistic, but it's difficult to achieve cuz there is just impact after impact and it is just so xin ku to have to recover again and again from everything that's happened. coupled with all the stress that's been building up within me recently, i've realised that i just can't take it anymore.

Sometimes, there's a limit to how much one can take.

This sem, i never realised i was this stressed until now. The breakdown freaked even myself out, much less the people around me. But nevertheless, the crying did help to relieve myself abit.

My jokes, my smiles, my laughter are but a facade; a mask behind which i try to hide from the world around me.

Inside lies a fragile heart, veins strung almost to breaking point, from which tears pour freely and without warning.
Inside resides a repressed soul, valiantly fighting the losing war against its heavy burden.

I am tired.
Tired of putting up a brave front, cuz it drains me of my energy. The energy that is so desperately needed to fight this battle.

Forgive me if i forget to wear my mask in front of you; i ask for your understanding, your patience, your kindness and your love.

And in return, i can only promise you that i will get better soon.
With your encouragement and support comes
confidence and victory,
happiness and hope,
and the courage to look at the world optimistically again.

Thank you dear... Thanks for everything.